Today as I did what people always say will get you in trouble, I came upon a revelation.
If my ex boyfriend had broken up with me instead of cheating, I would’ve met my current boyfriend months sooner.
This all came to me in the middle of the early morning. Scrolling through old photos is always scary when it’s other people’s social media profiles because you can accidentally “like” a photo and show off that you were doing some stalking. But have you ever been disgusted creeping down your old posts?
I had just read a post from Cassie the Blogilates trainer, and she was embracing her natural body as provided by her genetics which she showed appreciation for with a throwback photo of her as a healthy and happy young girl. So I went to the quickest place where I’d find some old images of myself – my own Instagram. Older pics of baby Ri were a bit down the profile, but once I found the couple of chubby faced photos, I was in love with my miniature confidence and grand smile, even as a girl. Since I was amused, I wanted to go back down the comments and see what other’s thought of little old me.
The comments varied from laughs, to heart eyes and nicknames.
But the last comment stopped my heart. An old, affectionate comment from an ex boyfriend.
The date of the image posted was three months after he had sex with multiple women behind my back during the long distance duration of our relationship.
We started dating at the new year, and in March he went to attend flight attendant training in Atlanta then moved to Boston for a permanent position. While he was gone I sent him money to survive, communicated with his parents, and listened to his worries about being far from his dying grandmother who was suffering from cancer. In May I was in a near death experience that gave him the chance to be the hero in that moment as EMTs depended on him to communicate with my family at my time of need.
That same week, I’d later find out, was the time of one of his affairs. Of course I never knew, so I invited him down to stay at my family’s house over the summer and even went to visit him in ATL and Florida.
I met more of his family that summer. Practically everyone related to him after he’d done his dirty deeds. Hid grandmother, his mom, nephews, cousin and father.
What’s funny is if you listen, especially to those hurt, and crying out about their past, you’ll see how they’re so broken they can’t even help themselves to stay straight.
Lol the flight to see him in Florida . . . was the worst trip of my life. The turbulence was enough to make me sick, I had anxiety from so much mistrust I had (seeing snaps between him and women, learning his ex had text him while he was over in TX to see me) lol it was just a sign of how bad my nerves were jumping. While we were in the wildest state in the west I was even stranded in the middle of the night at an airport because of connection issues. What a mess.
Come the summer in that month of August, I didn’t know our relationship had already been broken, officially since May. Four months of foul lies. I’m glad we were apart in a long distance relationship so I couldn’t be lied to in my face.
Those four months I was working hard at my job, but I was also partying hard to and sometimes crashing at my brother’s house, which was about 13 minutes from my job. Those four months I was stopping by, I met his roommate. A young Caucasian male with the stature of a soccer player. Opposite of who I was dating at the time. What’s funny is the roommate was met the cheating flight attendant one time – we were all in the same room near town at my brother’s townhouse. I, of course, being the amazing girl friend that I am, got tickets to a Houston Astros baseball game, and took my ex as my date the one time he was in town (same time he stayed at my parents house in the summer.) That game day was the day I saw the roommate again. I even heard him speak. But what if my ex wasn’t there? Turns out that roommate is now my current boyfriend!
After that August trip to Florida, “God” told the flight attendant to do so and he finally came truthful, setting all my nerves off the charts. After a funny life of abandonment that was the first time trauma hit me. Over a Facetime. I was then free from infidelity! Two and a half months later. I found comfort in someone who was technically around me my whole life without me knowing.
Since my brother’s roommate was around during the summer of 2015 when I was right out of college, how did I not figure, maybe, just maybe, he and my brother were also friends lol. Turns out they were friends since elementary, sports mates, and party buddies throughout high school. I had never known, and now we’ve been together 3 years. It could’ve been sooner, but the day I welcomed the flight attendant over to my brother’s house for pregame, that was the turning point. It’s weird to think that things just months before that game in July, could’ve been different that whole summer if my ex had just been honest and broken up with me instead of cheating and wasting my time and traumatizing me.
Quotes and everyone says that people come into your life for reasons; It’s funny to think the reasons and timing of those moments when people cross your paths as one story ends and another begins.